I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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