'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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