I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
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I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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