Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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