Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
