well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I would fuck him just for his dog
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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