Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
