I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
