if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
