he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
