apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i will never coherently bang her
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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