if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
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