are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
