Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
