we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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