party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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