need another drink. this is the easiest way
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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