I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Randomize
