Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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