dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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