So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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