so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
