It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
