break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i love accidental penises.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
