Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize