I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
