Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
PANTIES FOUND
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
