no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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