Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
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