I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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