ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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