I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
