just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
