I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
