My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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