Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
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