we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
