Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
