Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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