Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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