I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
