This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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