a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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