what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
