these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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