yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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