Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
