omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
