Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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