idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
