who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
