I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
