My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I need water and some morals
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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