does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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