It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
