My first STD was from a foam party
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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