so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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