is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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