also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Screwed.edu
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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