So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
