D3 body, D1 cock
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
